Thanks for the Stove
I love my sister and I think she feels the same about me.
That’s why when she switched out her glass-top electric for a new gas range,
she asked if I wanted it. “Sure,” I said. And that’s when the trouble started.
To put this gift in context, you should know that I consider
myself at least somewhat handy around the house. I’ve done some extensive
remodeling on other properties I’ve owned and the results weren’t half bad. Add
that to the fact that I’m an avid cook (a skill acquired in the interest of
self-preservation after many years as a bachelor) and you have the setting for
the tale that follows.
When I recently moved back into the condo I bought in 1980,
the almond-finish builder-grade stove had suffered a couple decades’ worth of indignity
by a succession of renters. It had given up any hope of stylishness, and while the
exposed coils on it still worked, level was a concept they had long since
abandoned. A new (OK, gently-used) glass-top stainless range for free was like
a gift from above. It deserved a place befitting its grandeur. I would give it
a kitchen we could both be proud of.
I looked at my 11-foot galley with a critical eye. Would the
new stove work with my electrical service? I had 40-amp 220 and the stove had a
50-amp plug. Time to call an electrician. He said as long as the feed from the
box would carry the current, I’d probably be fine with a new receptacle and
breaker. Otherwise, he’d have to pull a new wire. A long way. For a lot of
money.
Would the new range fit? Yes, but I had to be careful because
the overhanging glass top wouldn’t work with the rolled edge of my counters on
either side. OK, I could use new countertops anyway. Speaking of which, counter
space was at a premium so that huge microwave had to go. Off to the Big Box to
find a matching over-the-range model. Found it and it was at my door the next
day. The vent duct matched my old range hood perfectly, so all I had to do was
mount it and hook it up. Of course the wall cabinet would have to be changed to
accommodate the new microwave, so I had ordered it, too. Now to hang it below
the soffit and attach the microwave. Below the soffit. The soffit that cheated
me out of badly-needed storage space. I wondered what was behind it.
With easily repaired holes and a strong flashlight, I
discovered the only thing the soffit enclosed above the stove was the duct for
the exhaust fan. On the other side, the soffit was completely empty. I could
tear them out and have 20 more cubic feet of storage! I spent the next Saturday
ripping out the soffit over the stove and fridge (still the old ones — I
haven’t ordered the new stainless refrigerator I’ll need to match the range and
microwave yet) and cleaned up the mess with a sense of accomplishment. The
other side would have to wait a while since I needed to use the kitchen and had
other things to do, besides.
When I planned my attack on the sink side, I noticed the
pantry cabinet had been notched out to fit the soffit. Hmmm. How would that
look with the soffit gone? Closer inspection revealed that the pantry was a
full inch-and-a-half taller than the tops of the wall cabinets. Darn. Filler
strip? New cabinet? After all, the 30-year-old cabinets were showing their age.
Refinish? Reface? Replace? Well, that depends on the style
of the new kitchen, doesn’t it? I want something casual and contemporary, with
maybe a nod to Art Deco. No problem. Plenty of ideas online. Let’s just take a
look at that site with all the pictures. All the pictures. Millions of
pictures. So many pictures that by the time I find one I like, I’ve forgotten
why I went there, having been distracted by a link to an article about
landscaping with water — and I don’t even own the ground outside my condo! Time
to go to bed.
Of course now I can’t sleep, thinking about redesigning my
whole stinking home. After all, if I’m gonna put new flooring in the kitchen,
why not get rid of that nasty carpet and do the entire place? Except for the
bathrooms, of course. I’ve been meaning to replace the ugly linoleum with some
snazzy tile. And upgrade the tub in the guest bath. And put a walk-in shower in
the master. Once I decide on the design for both of them, of course. I’ll see
if I can find some ideas online.
Two months later with the soffits removed, a narrow strip of
ceiling remains above the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by partially
exposed studs and rafters. It’ll be coming down, too, so I can upgrade the
lighting. Looks like 700 square feet of laminate flooring will run around
$2,000, plus installation. If I shop carefully, I can get a new fridge for
under a grand. Then I can tackle the bathrooms.
I’ve gone back to
that web site with all the pictures several times to troll for ideas. Hundreds
of photos into it without a eureka moment, I’ve decided I’m much better at
building than I am at design.
I still love my sister, even when she asks me when I’m going
to get the stove out of her garage. I tell her I’m not sure I can afford it
anymore. She says, “But it’s free.”
Yeah, right.
---Mike McClanahan
